Shelli Stevens

What a great day. Seriously fabulous! I went shopping this morning with Mia again. I wanted something to wear that would work for the PI party at Atlanta and my editor appointment which is immediately following the lunch. I grabbed about 15 dresses, tried them all on, and found the one. You know what I’m talking about. The dress that makes you look 50% skinnier, big boobs, and just feminine and sexy. So I walk back out to pay, and apparently my dress was the only dress not on 40% off. ACK! So I bent over, grabbed ankles, and, yeah you get the point. But I love it and will wear it to the Seattle conference in October too. Oh! Plus the sales lady said she thought I was 22! Woo whoo! almost 8 years off my age!

I just got back from seeing the movie The Devil Wears Prada. And I swear to God every teenaged girl in that movie (and the place was loaded with them) walked out with an eating disorder. The movie kept reiterating how size 6 was fat. And size 0 was the new size 2, and size 6 was the new 14. And the fact that they tried to pass Ann Hathaway off as a size 6 was just comical. Sorry, not buying it. But the movie was somewhat entertaining, though incredibly predictable. And I found myself almost wishing my fat arse could fit into the couture of fashion. Of course then I’d have to be able to actually afford it. I’d probably give this movie a 3.5 or 4 on a scale of 1-5, 5 being best. More of a renter.

I’ll be gone all day tomorrow! So if I blog it won’t be until later at night. I’m heading to Whidbey Island to hang with family and friends. Fun, fun!

Okay, my picture of the day was too irresistible. I’m sure most of you have already seen it, it was in the news. But here it is along with a blurb.

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus…. The doctor treating Mohammad said he’d never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon’s story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

So my mom told me she read my book the other day. *Blink* First thing she says is, “So, is there a requirement for a certain amount of–um–love scenes in your book?” And I explain that no, it’s just gotta be hot. She then asks, “Are they all that–um–hot? Does everybody use that kind of language nowadays?” Now you have to understand my mom was an avid reader of HQ Presents. And I always stole hers and read them when she was done. Sooo this is a bit of culture shock for her now. I don’t know if she’ll be reading my books anymore. But she’ll buy them to support me

So I started my EC Caveman. Like literally made myself start typing at ten minutes to midnight last night. Just so I’d have something on paper. Something to get me going. I got a few paragraphs, started my nifty word meter thing on the side. But I’m blog hopping, and post surfing in Divas, and I’m kind of wondering if I’m wasting my time entering. There is some stiff competition. Including a ton of in house authors at EC. I mean I know they read the entries blind (or at least I heard they do) and I should really be more confident. But I’m such a realist. It’s rather annoying.

Oh! I forgot to mention, the ladies of Literary Sass are posting my review a week from today. Scary stuff. It’s like Happy 4th of July! Now bend over and grab ankles!

I cancelled my agent appointment at Nationals. It was with someone from the Knight Agency. I had already considered canceling, because all I have to offer currently is erotic romances. And I’m not sure they want to represent that. But then I got my time slot and it was right during the Passionate Ink party, where I also find out how I did in the Stroke of Midnight contest. Sooo I cancelled. But I kept my post lunch appointment with editor Shannon Combs from EC. I guess I better figure out how to pitch… it’s been awhile.

All right. Now my pic of the day is to celebrate the opening of the new Superman movie. This is reality for ya.

Okay, I emptied my brain into Love, Lust, and Other Oddities today. If you haven’t figured it out, Tuesday’s are my day to blog there. Yup, we’re on a schedule now! So really, I’m kind of at that drooling, comatose state of nothing to say. My brain is empty. But I’d love it if you run over there and read my post. It’s about epubs and small publishers and how they’re like the redheaded stepchild of the RWA. So… skip on over if you want. http://www.lovelustandotheroddities.blogspot.com

But because I couldn’t leave you without a pic of the day, say hello to my little friend….

(Yes, Viv, I remember him from your blog, too! He’s just such a sweetie!;)

Sooo really, I was sitting around wondering what to possibly blog about tonight. I was still in the plotting stage when I got an email saying I had a message on my My Space account. Hmm. So I go open it and here’s what I get from a guy who lives in the same state as I do….

Hi Shelli, How are you? I can’t help but try to connect with a woman who writes romance novels. You must have a seriously dirty mind if you can write well enough to turn people on. Do you like very tall men?

A seriously dirty mind? Ack! Even if that were true, which actually it probably is, why would you attempt to hit on someone you don’t know with such a tacky line? I mean come on. Okay, granted I’m single. And I write erotic romance. But do you really think that makes me a candidate for the ‘Legs Wide Open’ club? If I were looking to date or find someone to have sex with, then I would have put up an ad that looked something like this. ‘Hey, I’m single and write kinky arse books! Let’s f*ck!‘ But I’m not looking to date right now. So please, please don’t seek me out. Even if I do like tall men.

So off the rant. I’m sure many of you erotic romance writers have gotten similar emails or letters, but this was my first. So thanks for reading this entry.

On a writing related note! I plotted out my book for the EC Caveman entry. Honestly, I don’t know how much of a chance it’ll have. It’s going to be contemporary, light, with lots of exploring in the bedroom. Is it enough? We’ll see. Actually, this is going to sound sooo cheesy. But I’ve been meaning to write this piece. Because my heroine can’t trust military men and ends up falling in love with one. I’m pretty anti-military men because of a really bad experience I had with Emma’s dad, so I think this will help heal my bitter emotions. See? CHEESY!!! But the book was begging to be written. And Loribelle gave me some great ideas! It’ll be good. Someone will buy it! Even if EC doesn’t end up wanting it.

Okay, the pic of the day. Not earth shattering, but seemed somewhat appropriate somehow….

p.s. All you people who’ve been entering my newest contest (details on my site) I’ve got you on my list! Thanks!

Lacy and her kids came over. It was so fun. We sat outside in the 80 degree weather! Having a picnic while the kids went nutty swimming in the plastic wadding pool and running around the backyard. Tannon fed Emma M&M’s, and then Emma fed him some. You know, lifted it to the mouth fed. SO CUTE! Tannon’s an older boy, he’s 3 1/2 where she’s 2 1/2. LOL.

And the big news! I’m holding my next super big, fabulous contest to celebrate my next book that’s coming out soon The Pirate’s Booty. For details check out on my website http://www.shellistevens.com/funstuff.htm I’m kinda in the mood to post an excerpt. So here’s the mini premise, followed by the excerpt! It’s a little steamy! So conservatives be ware!

To save her business, Renee crashes a party thrown by the descendant of a pirate. She plans to steal back a brooch taken from her ancestor centuries ago. But what she doesn’t realize is that it’s a sex party, and Devon Murray is as notorious as his pirate ancestor.

Excerpt

“The rose is fine.” He took a step towards her. “Kurt misjudged.”

The sudden proximity of his body to hers made her knees threaten to give out.

“Please, come inside for your preparation.”

His hand settled low on her back as he guided her under the archway and through the massive door. She trembled at the slight contact. He wasn’t a conventionally handsome man. A scar marred his left cheek and his nose looked like it had probably been broken at some time during his life. Still, her body reacted to him as if he were some kind of sex God.

The foyer of the house was dark, with only a few candles burning in the entryway.

Renee looked down the hall, noting they were completely alone in the cold silence.

“Please stand against the wall, facing away from me.” His voice resonated in the foyer, deep and abrasive, sending chills of forewarning down her spine.

You can do this. You have to do this. Renee finally convinced her feet to move forward and take the few steps to the stone wall.

She sensed his hard body before he touched her. His breath fell warm and intimate on the back of her neck. Then his hands settled firmly on her waist. Her eyes fluttered shut.

“What is your name?”

“Renee.” She should have lied, but her mind was all fuzzy and she could only think about the hands sliding inward over her stomach.

“Renee,” he said, so close to her neck she felt his lips brush against her sensitized skin. She shivered. “Have you attended one of Devon Murray’s parties before?”

Even through the fabric of the corset, Renee responded to the fingers inching their way up towards her breasts.

She bit her lip before saying, “I’ve been to a few. You must have been off those nights.”

His laugh, low and seductive, echoed throughout the foyer. What had she said that was so amusing?

Suddenly he pushed her tight against the wall and she turned her face to the side to avoid the hard rough surface.

“So you know what to expect then.” His hand had reached her breast and closed over it through the corset.

“Uh…” what was the question again? “Yes.”

“Wonderful.” He delved his hand into her corset….

And I think that’s enough to keep it PG13. Or is it too late? Okay, now you didn’t think I’d forget the crazy pic of the day did you? Well, since we ended kind of on a dirty note, here’s my pic of the day. Could be completely innocent, unless you got a dirty mind of course!

Oh! Forgot to mention I sold the Halloween book. Got my contract for it this morning!

I spent all night reading/editing my Halloween book before I sent it off. So, nuts! I’m too tired to blog tonight.

So I’m a little worried. Or maybe worried isn’t the best word. But I’m… hmm… curious? That Halloween book I wrote is a lot different from what I usually write. It’s dark, it’s really paranormal (versus just a ghost) and, well, it’s totally new for me. So I just got feedback from one of my staple readers (thanks Jo!) who reads everyone of my books without fail. She’s not a writer, she’s my test audience. And she liked the book, gave it a 9/10, but said it was a lot different then what she was used to. Soo… I’m wondering if this is how people will react? Of course I’m assuming that anyone who buys my book will have read my others. Silly assumption. Anyways. I guess we’ll see.

All right. Friday’s are short because I promo Cobblestone’s new books for the week. But first my wacky picture of the day. I’m freaking a bit, because I’ve already hunted down all the crazy photos on the web. What happens when I run out? Will people still visit me? (sniffle) Anyway, here you are!

*************************************************************************** Ariana Seven lives in a world without men. After a plague wipes out everyone with a Y chromosome, the women of Earth create the perfect utopian society. Secretly, Ari feels like a freak. Dating is a nightmare–and having sex? Forget about it!

Jackson Taylor has had the worst kind of day. He’s screwed out of a promotion, his girlfriend dumps him, and just as he’s about to get flattened by a city bus he’s sucked into a time portal into the future. In this perfect world, they have only one use for men–as sperm donors. One look at Ari’s silver-blond hair and velvety black eyes and he loses his heart.

* * * * * * * *

A lonely howl in the night draws Laney Parker out of her cabin. Determined to warn the rogue werewolf away from her pack’s territory, she heads into the wilderness unprotected. Little does she know, old wounds are about to be opened, and she will soon be forced to revisit her heartbreaking past.

Two years have passed since Cole Holbrook was exiled from his pack. Now he’s back, determined to claim Laney as his mate, even if it means trespassing onto enemy territory to take her. Nothing will stop him. Not even his old rival–Laney’s pack leader brother, Seth.

* * * * * * *

Before Armand died by the hands of a vampire-hunting mob, he vowed Giselle Dubois he’d find a way to return to her on All Hallows’ Eve. But after three centuries of waiting, her hopes have vanished, and feeling lonely, she is about to walk into the sunlight and end her life on All Hallows’ Eve.

Until Armand wanders into Giselle’s house. Except now he’s now thirty-five-year-old photographer Evan Harris. And he doesn’t remember her. She must awake his memories before dawn, using every single sensual means at her disposal. But would he be the same Armand she knew and loved?

Okay, I’m exhausted, creatively drained for the night… and just finished writing This Spells Trouble! Woo whoo! That’s right. I’m done. It’s off to my crit partner Lacy, and off to my non-writer friend Jo. Usually I get some great insight on how I did from both their reactions combined. Yup, I thoroughly enjoyed writing vamps and witches. Deanna encouraged me to do a werewolf next. And you know what I said? Heck yeah! Bring it on! But first I need to write my EC Caveman entry. I’ve been putting that off for too long, and really need to try and start subbing to EC if I ever want to get in there. Der, no brainer, Shelli. No sub, no pub.

So Emma is like the Owie Queen lately. I gramma sat again today, and when I come back she’s got bandaids on her knees from tripping while she was running. And then I was going to change her diaper, and she came running down the hall, tripped on a shoe, and hit her head on the bed frame. My poor kid! But we had a talk about last nights poopy in the bathtub. I said, “Emma, where is poopy supposed to go. In the bath tub?” She says, “Noooo.” I said, “Then where?” She smiled and goes, “In Potty!” So hopefully we’re making some progress here. Because if I have to clean out one more tub full of crap… grrrr.

So tomorrow I’m going on a 2.5 mile walk around a lake with Emma, and two of my friends. Yeah, wish me luck. My arse hasn’t exercised in… okay, I don’t have that many fingers to count the weeks. I suppose I could move on to months. Nah, too much work.

Okay, onto the pic of the day. (Warning, it’s a little risky!) Man, I feel kinda dirty, I just got done watching Veggie Tales with Emma too. But this give a whole new meaning to the phrase love your vegetables…

So I was probably smoking crack when I made the decision, but I decided to give Literary Sass my book Tourist Attraction. And yeah, they have the whole ‘we’ll email you our review first and then you can decide whether you want it to go public’ but come on. One: I’m already blogging about it. And two: I announced it on their blog too. If the review never shows up, you’ll all figure out it was a bad one anyways! So good or bad, you’ll see the review. Besides, I figure anyone who planned on buying my book already has… and if you haven’t BUY IT QUICK BEFORE THE REVIEW GOES UP!!! Hee hee. I’m not scared or anything. *Shaking*

So I went buck wild with my Halloween book last night. I typed 2k. So technically since this is a Tryst, this book could have been done at few thousand words ago, but it just isn’t ready to be done yet. I’m thinking tonight I’ll finish it up! I’m soooo excited for Emma to go to bed. I’m at the black moment (and yet I still manage to write funny lines, I hink they’re funny at least:)

We just got back from taking Emma to dinner. ACK! I swear, remind me not to take my 2 1/2 year old to public restaurant until she’s 12. But after dinner we went to the bookstore and picked out a couple potty training books, plus a Thomas the Train. She’s such a train freak.

My Victoria Secret semi annual sale purchases arrived in the mail today! I’m gonna smell purty at Nationals, comfy bras, and have some super cute pj’s to wear. In fact I put on the pj’s and was looking all cute. And watching Emma in the tub. Next thing I know, she’s saying “Poopy, mommy, poopy.” I look down. Sure enough, floaters EVERYWHERE! Ugh. After a 1/2 hour cleaning session of Emma, myself, and the tub, my VS pj’s have been thoroughly broken in. And now removed. Back to the ugly ones.

Anyways, for the pic of the day, since I left off talking about the ultra girly topic of Victoria’s Secret… I thought this pic was somewhat appropriate….